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Dylan Connell

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Dylan Connell
Beast
Statistics
Names Dylan Connell, Captain Novolin
Height 5'1
Weight 307 lbs
Born June 17th, 4989 B.C. (Immortal, perpetually age 13)
Birthplace Dublin, Ireland
Died N/A
N/A
Resides 1017 S. Air Depot, Midwest City
Billed from Dublin, Ireland
Trained by Ben 10, Kevin 11
Debut 2008
Retired N/A
Ron Killing Vince McMahon laughing original original original original crop 650x440 "Now that's a classic!"

This page is meant for comedic purposes only, laugh it out!


Dylan Connell is a CAW superstar signed to the Jeri-MAX, and WACW CAW Leagues. He is also a former SMF forum member who was constantly picked on and was accused of being a Ben 10 fan. He's somewhat mentally retarded and special needs.


New-WWE E-Fed Edit

Shortly after joining the SMF Forum, Dylan Connell was introduced into the New-WWE roster under the Raw brand. After a very short time, he was pushed into the main event, eventually winning the World Heavyweight Championship in a shocking upset over Pablo Alfonzo Gonzales.

His reign was short lived, and he lost it on his first defense in a scramble match to Danny Jackpot. Dylan soon got the gold back (which was now held by Smfowns4 following an attack on Danny that injured him). After losing the World Heavyweight Championship again, Dylan vanished.

He re-emerged months later as part of the Smackdown brand. On his re-debut match, he defeated then-champion Miley Cyrus to win the WWE Championship for the first time in his career. The e-fed closed with Dylan as the WWE Champion.

New-WWE Smackdown Edit

Dylan was not present when the CAW adaptation of New-WWE started, and the WWE Championship was vacated due to title history being wiped. Dylan would make no appearances until Summerslam, where he appeared as Mercurius' mystery partner in a match for the vacant WWE Tag Team Championship. The duo defeated Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy to win the gold.

Both Dylan and Mercurius set their sights on the United States Championship, which Mercurius had lost a few shows before Summerslam to Javori Smart. They ended up competing against eachother in a triple threat match also featuring Javori for the US Championship, but Javori was able to retain. On the first Smackdown before Unforgiven, the pair lost the WWE Tag Team Championship to The Miz and John Morrison. The fed shut down a few shows (and a CPV) later.

When New-WWE re-opened, Mercurius won a Battle Royal for a title shot of his choice. Off-screen, Mercurius and Dylan had agreed that if Merc won, he'd choose a shot at the now Unified Tag Team Titles. However, Merc changed his plans upon meeting Maryse, who seduced him into choosing a Divas Championship match for her. A furious Dylan then challenged Mercurius to a match at Armageddon. Despite Connell's best efforts, Mercurius was victorious.

Dylan didn't do much for the next couple of weeks aside from competing in the Royal Rumble Match, which he lost. On the show after No Way Out, Dylan was traded to the Raw brand.

New-WWE Raw Edit

Hardcore Champion Edit

Dylan made his Raw debut (with a brand new look) in a match against fellow trade member Dorf Liggleton in a losing effort. He would lose match after match in a string of bad luck, that was finally broken on an edition of Superstars, where he defeated then-champion Jason Hawkinz, Ryan ReX, and El Jefe to capture the Hardcore Championship. However, Dylan ended up losing on his first defense to El Jefe in a controversial way; Dylan made Jefe bleed in their First Blood Match, but little did Dylan know that it was under Cuban First Blood rules, meaning the first Cuban to bleed wins.

A pissed off Dylan refused to admit defeat, and introduced a new Hardcore Championship, and claimed to still be the real champion. This lead to a rematch between Dylan and El Jefe in the pre-show of WrestleMania IV in a Fidel Castro Tables Match. Although Dylan gave it his all, he once again fell to the Big Nasty Bastard and was DDT'd through a table. After beating Mr. Mac on the Season 2 opener of Raw, Dylan would lose his spot on the roster when El Jefe defeated him in a Cuban Raft Cage

Return Edit

RoadWarriorDylanVader

Dylan's new look

Dylan's exile from New-WWE was extremely short lived. On the first show since Dylan was fired, Nic of WWE-Kids (who was set to compete for the Intercontinental Championship that night) announced he was giving his spot on the roster up in order to allow Dylan to return. Dylan emerged with a new look, and battled Christian for the championship. Despite the initial shock of Dylan's return and makeover, Christian was able to thwart Dylan's efforts and retain the Intercontinental Title.

Dylan competed against Christian, El Jefe, and Lil Ham at Backlash for the Intercontinental Championship in a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match, and was the first man eliminated. Dylan was defeated in that match by El Jefe, who utilized one of Dylan's own finishers against him. Later, on Superstars, Dylan once again battled his nemesis in match for the Hardcore Championship, where if Dylan lost, he'd be banned from competing for the Hardcore Title. Dylan ended up losing to Jefe in under 15 seconds following a devastating savate kick.

The following Raw, Dylan received yet another gimmick change, this time essentially being a walking billboard for Mr. Sprigg's BBQ, a small restaurant. He entered the Raw King of the Ring 2010 tournament, but lost in round one to Christian.


The Ninth Clique Edit

After enduring week after week of torture and humilation at the hands of El Jefe and The Miz, Dylan Connell once again went under a transformation and took on the look of an amateur wrestler. On the February 1st edition of Superstars; Dylan was set to compete against nemesis El Jefe in a singles match. Dylan refused to compete against Jefe one-on-one, and brought out Cawsplash and Matt Metamorphis (both making their debuts). The three defeated El Jefe in a 3-on-1 handicap match, following a massive powerbomb by Cawsplash. Interestingly, instead of going for the pin himself, Cawsplash tagged in Dylan and allowed him to score the pinfall over his rival.

The trio competed at Extreme Rules against the team of Adolf Hitler, The Miz, and El Jefe. The Clique ended up losing by a complete blowout, unable to eliminate any of them. Later, Dylan and Matt Metamorphis, representing The Ninth Clique, competed in the World Tag Team Championship Tournament, but were defeated by Hitler and Chris Johansen in the first round.

After engaging in a short feud with Brent Harvanator and Kage, The Ninth Clique earned an opportunity at the now vacant World Tag Team Championship. Cawsplash and Dylan Connell defeated Kage and Harvanator, earning The Ninth Clique the World Tag Team Championship.

Jeri-MAX (2009- Edit

MONSTER HEEL (2009) Edit

Dylan was one of the original e-fed Jeri-MAX superstars to return when it became a CAW League. In his first official match, a tag team match for the vacant Jeri-MAX Tag Team Championships on WARP, Dylan and his best friend Kevin 11 of Ben 10 were defeated by Jurt Angle and one of his guttersluts. On the next episode, VORTEX, Dylan was given a shot at Dorf Liggleton's World Heavyweight Championship, but was easily beaten. {C}
Geniesboy

Dylan Connell with Genie's Powers

The Genie's Boy (2009-2010) Edit

On the December 30th WebMatch, Dylan managed to defeat the returning Aladdin Hassan in 8 seconds with a little help from Aladdin's Genie. Afterwards, the Genie revealed that he's leaving Aladdin's side and has given Dylan his Genie powers for the time being. Since gaining his powers, Dylan has defeated his old mentor and friend Kevin 11, as well as picking up an upset victory over Triple H despite receiving 3 Pedigrees. Dylan defeated Grover FUCKING Cleveland for the Jeri-MAX European Championship at the Black Hole CPV, but because he used his powers for a 3rd time, he lost them and escaped the arena in his boxer shorts. {C}
Baldylan

Dylan Connell bald.

Powerless, Bald, & DylCourne (2010-2011) Edit

Dylan Connell's first match without powers was a triple threat match against Sheamus and the Big Boss Man on Episode 7. Dylan avoided as much physical contact as he could, sacrificing a win that would grant him the choice of his Ooze opponent by staying on the outside of the ring for the entire match. Sheamus would go on to win the match and at the time would be scheduled to face Dylan for the Jeri-MAX European Championship at Jeri-MAX Ooze. On Episode 8 Dylan was crushed by DreCon the Giant in a Steel Cage Match, receiving multiple Giant Chokeslams. On Episode 9, Dylan would lose his hair after being beaten by Brutus the Barber Beefacke in a "Hair vs. Hair" Match. On Episode 10, Dylan lost a bloody brawl with his rival El Jefe, who would wind up winning Dylan's European Championship. Sheamus would then win the European Title from Jefe not much later, so Dylan and Sheamus' match at Ooze would be rebooked, but the roles of Champion an Challenger would be reversed. Sheamus would go on to destroy Dylan at Ooze, successfully retaing his European Championship

On episode 11, Dylan convinced Evan Redcourne not to quit Jeri-MAX after losing to random jobber Winter Bradleys, explaining that he's lost many times before but has never quit. Evan soon realized that if he quit, he'd look worse than Dylan, so the high-flying Native American decided to stay and challenge Winter to a rematch. After Evan lost said rematch, Dylan promised him that HE will defeat Winter Bradleys at The All-American American Bash, and when he does, the Hardcore Championship would be awarded to Evan. On Episode 14, Dylan and Evan's odd friendship took an unexpected turn for the better, as they became Jeri-MAX Tag Team Champions by beating Hulk Hogan after his partner DreCon the Giant had attacked him and walked out on the match. At the Bash CPV, Dylan failed to defeat Winter Bradleys, so Evan Redcourne did not become Hardcore Champion.

On episode 15, Justin Gower claimed he was more controversial than Dylan ever was, and one episode later in their first title defense, Dylan and Evan, now known as DylCourne, defeated The Gower Dynasty to retain the Tag Team Championships. Dylan took part in the Spiral Rumble match at Jeri-MAX Spiral Rumble, entering at number 6, lasting 8 minutes and 31 seconds and eliminating Brian Knobbs before being eliminated by Sheamus. On the following episode of WARP, Dylan forced himself into a match with Biff Andreas for his half of the Tag Team Championships; he would go on to win in less than a minute.

On April 1st, 2010, it was announced that Dylan would be one of eight Jeri-MAX Pros taking part in the Jeri-MAX PMX show; his PMX Rookie Diva is Chyna. At Jeri-MAX Horizon, Dylan and Evan successfully defended their Tag Team Championships against the team of Edge & KAMA. In order to prove to Evan that they are indeed the best Tag Team in Jeri-MAX, and much to the chagrin of of the High-Flying Native American, Dylan signed them up for a 4-Team Gauntlet Match at Jeri-MAX JeriMania against The Gower Dynasty, The Nasty Boys, and Bulk & Skull. Since then, DylCourne have lost 3 consecutive matches against The Nasty Boys, Bulk & Skull, and The Gower Dynasty respectively; with Dylan taking the fall each time. Evan Redcourne, tired of defeat, would later tell Dylan that if they lost at JeriMania, DylCourne was over and that they needed to go their separate ways. On episode 26, Dylan lost again, this time to Evan Redcourne himself. At Jeri-MAX JeriMania, DylCourne lost to the Nasty Boys in the first round of the Tag Team Gauntlet, losing the Tag Team Championships in the process.

Afterwords, DylCourne split up, going their separate ways as planned; but not before Evan attacked Dylan one last time as a sign of appreciation.

Singles Action & Career-Threatening Injuries (2011) Edit

After DylCourne split up, Dylan grew back some of his hair as he returned to singles competition. At Emergency Event, Dylan lost an elimination Fatal 4 Way for the European Championship; a match that his former partner Evan Redcourne would go on to win. On a later episode of WARP, Dylan lost a qualifying match for a spot in a World Championship #1 Contender's Triple Threat Match at Ooze to DreCon the Giant.

Things continued to go bad for Dylan on the following episode of VORTEX. After Evan Redcourne's Ooze opponent Lamarell McDaniel defeated Dylan, the Conjoined Twin decided to make an example of him by viciously and savagely beating down Dylan for several minutes with the steel steps. After the beatdown ended, a bloody and bruised Dylan was on the receiving end of a Lamarell Bomb on the outside padding.

Doctor's have determined that Dylan Connell has suffered numerous internal injuries, a concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken jaw. At this time, it is unknown whether or not Dylan will ever return to in-ring competition ever again.

Shocking Return & Late JMAX Career (2011- Edit

Gone for months after Lamarell McDaniel's assault, people had assumed Dylan's career was over. However, he made his shocking return at Jeri-MAX Horizon during the main event. Dylan went on to distract Lamarell long enough for Pacman Jones to recover and win the match, ending Lamarell's winning streak and preventing him from winning the World Heavyweight Championship.

On the following episode of WARP, Lamarell called out Dylan, hoping to get some revenge. However, Dylan's old tag partner Evan Redcourne came out and revealed that Dylan was not at WARP because he was at a track meet, further infuriating the Intercontinental Champion. Dylan would make his in-ring return on Episode 5 of Jeri-MAX Eastern, as Johnny's handpicked tag team partner against The Bad Apples, Ben Davis and Drew McIntosh.

Dylan's in-ring career would slow down following a quick loss to Lamarell in an Intercontinental Championship match at Jeri-MAX JeriMania II: The Quickening. His few early season 3 appearances were mainly for nostalgia; including a DylCourne reunion on Episode 49 and bringing back his Genie Boy gimmick for JMAX 50. Afterwards, Dylan would turn to mentoring a young underdog named Kolton Jerbs, who was rejected by David "A-List" Otunga as a potential protege. With Otunga taking Bulk under his wing instead, a bet was made to see who could get their respective student Jeri-MAX Championship gold first. It was during this time that Kolton's racist, xenophobic side came out, leading to a split between he and Dylan. Dylan would then soon be defeated by the newly dubbed "Zeb Kolton," (ironically, a name Dylan called Kolton as an insult), on Open Fight Night.

After being beaten to a bloody pulp on Episode 58 by Dan "The Beast" Severn, Dylan hadn't been seen in a Jeri-MAX ring since. He returned on Episode 63 to confront Severn, but was immediately tapped out by an Armbar applied by Severn. Later that show, Batista promised to teach Dylan MMA so he could finally stand up to and defeat Severn. Unfortunately for Dylan, this was all just a trap, as Batista quickly turned on him during his MMA bout with Severn at the JeriMania the Third Pre-Show, revealing he was with Severn all along.

GWEF Edit

Dylan Connell made his GWEF debut by defeating Jobby Jobber with the Twist of Secrets in his first GWEF match.

DCWL Edit

Dylan Connell made his DCWL debut by losing to Coca Cola at LOLRANODM 2. He won the DCWL LULZ championship in his next match by defeating Scott McShannon in a match where if Scott lost, he would get shaved bald, and if Dylan lost he would have to date Machojef, Dylan overcame the odds and defeated McShannon, Scott would then have his...and pubes shaved by Brutus. After the match, Suspect would leave the mark of a nigger and burn Dylan with The Fire Lariat. The burns on Dylan are so bad that his skin colour has went completely black.on DCWL Show 19 Dylan Connell lose to EMO Shawn Michaels Dylan Levaes DCWL

Championships and Accomplishments Edit

New-WWEEdit
Jeri-MAXEdit
DCWLEdit
  • 1x DCWL LULZ Champion
JFWEdit
GWEFEdit
  • 1x GWEF Killadown Champion (Current)
New Age WrestlingEdit

Other Accomplishments

Danny Jackpot WrestlingEdit
  • 1x DJW Blowjob Championship (Current)

Luchas de ApuestasEdit

Wager Winner Loser Location Date Notes
Hair/Hair Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake Dylan Connell Jeri-MAX Episode 9 (WARP) January 14th, 2010 Non-Title Match (Beefcake was Intercontinental Champion)

Finishing and Signature Moves Edit

  • PUNCHES
  • Electric Chair Facebustter
  • Twist of Secrets (Snap Twist of Fate)
  • Old Man Flop (used in Jeri-MAX)
  • Dutch Death Drop (Pumphandle into a oklahoma lift spun out into a Over The Shoulder DDT)
  • Back Alley Driver (Running Impact Driver)
  • Ireland Driver (Pumphandle Gutwrench Driver)
  • Dutch Drop (Modified Front Powerslam)
  • Diving Sick Kick (Diving Karate Kick)
  • Ben 10 Cutter (used as TNC) (Neckbreaker with Theatrics)
  • Nigger Squasher (used as TNC) (Oklahoma Gutbuster into a Leg Hook Inverted Suplex lifted into a Sitout Wheelbarrow Facebuster)

Entrance Themes Edit



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